How to Communicate Effectively with Anyone, Anytime
Communication is a skill that must be mastered for success in any industry or arena of your life. Whether for personal or professional purposes, having a grasp of even basic communication skills will serve you massively in every interaction. From dialoguing with customer service to negotiating a major business deal, it always comes down to communication.
Today, we’re revealing expert-approved tips and strategies for communication to help you communicate effectively with anyone, anytime, about anything!
Really listen
Now this one may seem common sense, and it is - but here’s the thing: most of us talk more than we listen. We understand effective communication to be a give-and-take where there is an equal balance of active dialoguing and active listening on both sides. This might work for basic communication, but to really master the art of effective communication, you should actually be aiming to do significantly more listening than talking.
Instead of jumping in at every pause, or rushing to verbally agree (or disagree) or add your two cents to every point made - take a beat before speaking. Let the person across from you see that you are truly absorbing and considering what they have to say - not just rushing to contribute your own thoughts. More often than not, offering this space to just let someone’s input marinate will have them feeling more comfortable and trusting in the interaction, prompting them to go on and share more. It’s a common misconception that the person who speaks loudest or has the last word is the one who has dominated the discussion - this is not true, and more to the point, it should never be the goal in constructive communication.
Have you ever heard the saying “You have two ears and one mouth”...? This is for a reason! Listen twice as much as you speak and notice how your interactions improve immediately. You will notice that people engage with you more confidently and eagerly. You will also find you walk away from conversations with a deeper understanding of what was communicated to you, and feel confident that your contributions were more thought-out and in response to what was being said to you, resulting in more productive results from every dialogue.
Avoid giving unsolicited advice
In any kind of communication, personal opinion will usually find its way into the mix, and it’s when the narrative heads in this direction that you may feel compelled to impart some wisdom and share your advice. Though this is done with the best of intentions, this is also when communication has a tendency to take a tense turn.
Something that’s easy to forget when we are communicating with people we have established trust or relationships with is that people are not always looking for advice or guidance. Sometimes - more often than not, in fact - people are seeking a safe space to sound off. They are looking for a soundboard in which to share, vent, and freely express their feelings or opinions. In these instances, we are quick to jump in with our own experiences and advice.
But! It’s important to understand that this is again another circumstance where active listening plays a bigger role. Unless prompted, be careful not to offer up unsolicited opinions and feedback. While the conversation may organically lead into a space where your input and guidance is welcomed, resist the urge to take that route too early on, as this may leave the person you are communicating with feeling as though their moment to share has been taken over.
Body language matters
Your body talks! - Even when you’re not. The reality is that our body language tends to say more than our words as far as lasting communication.
Be mindful of your body language when talking and listening. Is your facial expression in conflict with your words? Are you sending physical signals that you are “closed off”, i.e. sitting with your arms crossed? Are you actively engaging in strong eye contact? Is your jaw clenched or are you exhibiting a comfortable and relaxed physical presence?
Take note of your body language, including physical cues such as nodding, unclenching your jaw, maintaining a confident posture, and “mirroring” the body language of the person you are interacting with to foster trust and establish common ground.
When possible, keep it brief (and to the point)
Sometimes, the less said, the better. Many interactions hit a dead end when the conversation drags on and inevitably, kicks up unnecessary dust along the way. Not every conversation needs to be a lengthy one. Time management tips from efficiency experts tell us that even our smallest communications in the day should be approached with intention, clear goals and brevity in mind.
People will appreciate your clear communication, and your respect for their time.
Think before you speak
It’s one thing to practice thoughtful consideration of what’s being said to you in the moment, it’s another to consider your own intentions prior to engaging in dialogue with someone else. When it comes to important discussions or potentially-tense conversations, always try to play it out in your mind ahead of time. Consider the issue or topic to be discussed. What is your position? What is your ultimate goal with this conversation? How can you express your thoughts and opinions in a way that does not come across as patronizing or defensive? Is there a compromise or positive outcome for all that can be worked toward here?
Considering all of this ahead of time will have you feeling prepared, focused and present in the moment. A clear mind makes for clear communication, and when everyone on all sides feels heard, we all win.
Remember - it’s not (always) about you!
In every communication, down to even the seemingly least significant ones, there is a purpose and goal (sometimes, several!) Even in the most basic of interactions, there is always a reason for the interaction, and naturally, intentions on all sides. With this in mind, it’s easy to see how we feel personally invested in the outcome of every communication, and the input we contribute.
But remember: not every interaction is all about you. When we feel personally invested in the outcome of a specific interaction, our communication can sometimes present as being very one-sided - “me, me, me!” - which really only works to send off communication red flags and trigger defensive responses from the other side.
TIP: Try to look at communications from a bird’s eye view.
Looking overhead of what’s happening below and taking yourself out of the equation for a moment, consider the following:
Is this the most effective communication I could be leading right now?
Does this feel as though I am contributing to some resolution or positive result here?
Is my body language open?
Am I allowing the other people in this interaction ample space and time to communicate as well? Am I truly being open to what is being said?
Are my replies thoughtful and actually in response to what is being said?
Communication comes down to your willingness to not only speak with thoughtfulness and clear intentions, but most importantly, your ability to actively listen and respond.
Master this, and you will reap the benefits of successful and effective communications - anytime, anywhere, and about anything!